This is the current temperature of my apartment. I don't know what the hell happened, but I went away for one night and when I came back the air conditioner was broken. My frickin roommate has something to do with it, I know he does. He must've put it on like 35 degrees and had a crazy winter party and overworked the crap out of the thing. It's warmer in here than it is outside. We're pushing 85. In frickin February. This is ridiculous. I have two fans and one light on and It feels like a sauna in here. I should probably turn my computer off. Or sleep outside.

Derek's first design for the party.

Beef purchased 2 40s for me yesterday for the movie ticket I bought for him a few months ago to see Blade Trinity(completely worth every penny). I plan on drinking then tonight. Today, there is a smile on my face.
Cost of 2 40s: $3.01.

I must be the easiest person to please in the entire world.

At the end of the night, my roommate realizes that he has had enough. He takes one last sip of his Pabst Blue Ribbon and decides that he will not be able to finish this delectable beverage. What does he do? He desperately tries to save it and puts the 1/3 of the way full PBR into the fridge. It's PBR. 1/3 of a PBR is sitting in my fridge. Who the hell tries to save a Pabst Blue Ribbon? What is he gonna do, drink it tomorrow? I don't even enjoy PBR, I'd much rather have a Keystone. Also, I noticed that there was a Guinness sitting on the table. It was half full. That's just sad.

I saw somebody walking around campus with an umbrella today. She wasn't carrying it, she had it open and above her head like it was raining. What? Why? It wasn't raining. It was cloudy, maybe a little windy, but definitely not raining. I just checked the weather channel. 0% chance of rain. 0%. Sure, it was chilly, but I can't find any reasonable use for an umbrella on a day like today. And wouldn't she notice that she's the only dumbass with an umbrella? Also, there was some dude walking with her. What is he thinking? Why wouldn't he ask her, "Hey, what's the deal with the frickin umbrella?" Maybe she's trying to start a new umbrella trend or something. Whatever her reason is for the umbrella, she's a moron.

So I once knew a man… This man was no ordinary man. In fact, it was the man pictured above. Take a good look at that sexy beast. What do you notice? That’s right, the frickin mustache. I know, I did too. Everyone does… or DID notice. No longer does this man sport the mustache. This WAS the man that I used to call Mustache Man. Hell, he's in my cell phone as "Mustache Man." For the longest time, I didn't even know his real name. And now? It's all gone. Apparently he got a haircut as well. This was his image. This was who he was. When people would first meet him, they would guess that he drove a broken-ass van with candy and video cameras inside. He had a mustache! It was simply amazing. What do I call this man now? I can't keep calling him Mustache Man. That'd be weird. I don't think he even deserves such a prestigious title anymore. So you might be asking yourself, "What in God's name would possess a man to shave this beautiful strip of hair?" I answer thee with this: Kappa Sigma. I'm not blaming Kappa Sigs for this… wait, yes I am. What the hell are you guys thinking? He had a mustache. You "suggest" that he shaves?!? You might as well cut off his balls and shove them in his mouth while you're at it. Why can't you just take Mustache Man for who he is? Why must he change? He's an awesome guy, but you say, "Hell no, Kappa Sigma don't do no mustaches." Congratulations Kappa Sigma, you have killed Mustache Man.