So I once knew a man… This man was no ordinary man. In fact, it was the man pictured above. Take a good look at that sexy beast. What do you notice? That’s right, the frickin mustache. I know, I did too. Everyone does… or DID notice. No longer does this man sport the mustache. This WAS the man that I used to call Mustache Man. Hell, he's in my cell phone as "Mustache Man." For the longest time, I didn't even know his real name. And now? It's all gone. Apparently he got a haircut as well. This was his image. This was who he was. When people would first meet him, they would guess that he drove a broken-ass van with candy and video cameras inside. He had a mustache! It was simply amazing. What do I call this man now? I can't keep calling him Mustache Man. That'd be weird. I don't think he even deserves such a prestigious title anymore. So you might be asking yourself, "What in God's name would possess a man to shave this beautiful strip of hair?" I answer thee with this: Kappa Sigma. I'm not blaming Kappa Sigs for this… wait, yes I am. What the hell are you guys thinking? He had a mustache. You "suggest" that he shaves?!? You might as well cut off his balls and shove them in his mouth while you're at it. Why can't you just take Mustache Man for who he is? Why must he change? He's an awesome guy, but you say, "Hell no, Kappa Sigma don't do no mustaches." Congratulations Kappa Sigma, you have killed Mustache Man.