Monday, November 29, 2004

Thanksgiving was fun. Here are some thoughts I had over the break:

- There's nothing quite like the toilet at home. That's when I know I'm officially home. It's not when I go through the door or sleep in my bed. It's on the crapper. That's where shit happens. Sorry, I had to say it.

- For some reason I really enjoy rest areas/stops. I don't know it is, but I just think it's cool. I'm driving for awhile and realize I gotta pee. I could go to a gas station or restaurant, but I don't like going to either of those places. Why? Cause you have to ask where the bathroom is. You go to the rest stop, and you know where it is. It's the only thing there. You've got toilets and picnic tables. That's it. If you can't find the bathroom at a rest stop, you're a moron. It's just easier. So, I pull over, get out, take a piss next to some random people that I've never seen or met in my life and will probably never see again, and then I get the hell outta there. Most of the time I don't say a word to anyone. Which is good. Talking should not happen in these situations. Everyone that's in there just wants to get in and get out. Why I enjoy this process, I have no idea. Also, who the hell has a picnic at the rest area? Seriously, I'd rather just eat in the car. One time a saw a family having their son's birthday party at one of those picnic tables. I thought, that will be the worst birthday that kid will ever have. Ever.

- Saturday night I hung out and drank a lot with some moron named Hunter. We watched some of the South Park movie on comedy central and I decided something. I believe the best thing those South Park creators have ever made is the South Park movie and the first season of South Park. Go ahead and argue.

- Right after Thanksgiving, my mom forced everyone in my family to help put up Christmas decorations and the tree. The real tree. I don't think I'll ever have a fake tree. I guess it's just something my family has always done and I want to continue the tradition. It's always such a hassle every year and it kicks ass. Here's what happens: We drive up to the Papa Noel in our oldest, most abused Honda and start looking around. Looking around consists of my mom asking me, my brother, and my dad, "Do you like this one?" or "Is this one good?" To which we all respond, "yeah, looks great." After we do this for a good half an hour we narrow it down to 2 or 3 trees. We all stand there in between them with my mom going back and forth finding minor, insignificant defects in each tree. After another half an hour of that, we just wait for my mom to say which one she wants and realize we had no say in picking out the christmas tree from the beginning. Then, we tie down the tree to the roof of the Accord and take it home. Putting up the tree is always fun as well. Every time, the tree is just a little too big and as we stuff the tree into the stand, the top of the tree scrapes the ceiling and my mom freaks out.

God, I love Christmas and the winter.
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Regardless of whether that picture's real or not, I find it funny.
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Thursday, November 18, 2004

Sorry, but I really just can't stand U2's new song "Vertigo." I'm sure you've seen those stupid ipod commercials with bono yelling those retarded lyrics. Seriously, U2, how can you start a song off with,

"Uno, dos, tres, catorce
Turn it up loud, captain"

For those of you who don't know spanish, that means "one, two, three, fourteen." Then, turn it up loud captain????? Any song that starts like that sucks. Then, he goes on to say:

"Hello, hello
Hola
I'm at a place called Vertigo
Donde esta"

What is that?? I think he learned a little Spanish and wanted to show off his skills and try and get some of the spanish market.
But, it's not over yet. He ends the song with some badass "yeahs":

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah"

Wow, that's a lot of "yeah's" Way to go U2, you made an amazing song here. Who knows, maybe I'm missing some deeper meaning to these lyrics, but I seriously doubt it.
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Tuesday, November 16, 2004

So if you want to see the rest of the Halloween pictures, go here.

I have one story that is worth telling and not too long for my lazy ass to type out. These past couple weeks have been awesome, with Halloween, Baylor beating A&M, uncle butt, free xbox's and tons of other stuff that I don't really feel like elaborating on. Let's just say it's been good. So here's my little story that's blog-worthy:

I was in the process of backing out of my parking spot of my apartment complex when I looked in my rear-view mirror and saw a car. I slammed on my brakes thinking that I was about to back right into it. Then, as I turned my head to look back at the car I realized something. The car wasn't actually a car. It was a woman. A very large woman to say the least. I thought she was a car. Dear God, I think it's time for someone to start losing some weight. If you're being mistaken for cars, I think you have a problem. I am not making this up. This really happened, and I am not making fun of fat people. It's an actual event that happened to me. If you get offended and pissed off, stop reading my blog. I laughed. That's it.
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